-LRB- CNN -RRB- -- Two catchphrases have dominated stories about women in the election cycle this year : `` the war on women '' and `` having it all . '' It is time to change the conversation .

Women are the voters most likely to matter on November 6 -- they make up the majority of undecided voters and they outvote men .

But to win women 's votes , Mitt Romney and President Obama must talk about what really matters to them . I know something about that from my students . The young women in my classes look to the future and want to know how to create workable lives for their families . They know about the pay gap . They know their earnings will matter to their families . They know their mothers are often starved for time . `` How are we supposed to do it ? '' they ask , over and over .

We have not been giving them good answers . Undoubtedly , the issues raised in claims about a `` war on women '' and the difficulty of `` having it all '' are important . But those arguments do n't fully address my students ' questions . In order for the candidates to speak directly to women , they need to talk about jobs , but not just any jobs.Â What matters are good jobs that make family lives sustainable .

Pay equity is the tip of the iceberg . Consider this from the Center for American Progress : Including all workers , the median full-time female worker earned $ 10,784 less in 2010 than the median full-time male worker . Over a 40-year career , that wage gap adds up to more than $ 400,000 .

This pay discrepancy affects the economic well-being of American households . Women comprise two-thirds of American family breadwinners and co-breadwinners . Inequality in pay means families have less money for quality child care , less education , fewer doctor visits and more scrambling to make ends meet , year in and year out . It 's not just households and family life that suffer . So does the economy . Studies confirm that stretched workers mean lower productivity .

But pay alone wo n't make the difference . All workers have family responsibilities . When women ask about fair pay , they are also asking about how to get jobs that make it possible to take a sick child to the doctor . They are asking about how to make sure fathers can get away from work early enough to make dinner , too . Flexibility is a universal concern for American workers , not simply a women 's issue . As President Obama 's Council of Economic Advisers reported in 2009 , workplace flexibility increases productivity and reduces turnover and absenteeism . It 's good for the economy , and good for families .

A Reuters poll this month showed that women make up 54 % of the undecided voters and their No. 1 concern is family well-being . Contraception and reproductive rights , of course , matter a great deal to female voters . But if that 's the only issue the candidates talk about , they ignore the worries that women wake up to every morning as they hustle children through bowls of cereal and pile out the door to work .

Here is what the candidates can do :

First , fight for the Paycheck Fairness Act , which would expand 1963 's Equal Pay Act and make it easier for women to compare their pay with that of fellow workers . Paycheck Fairness was blocked this year in Congress ; it needs to be reintroduced . In our service economy , women still dominate in the lowest-paid jobs . Because women 's pay has become more and more essential to their families , those historic inequities matter more and more .

Second , fight for workplace flexibility . Family responsibilities burden all workers , men as well as women , regardless of pay . This is a social and economic reality that the nation must face . America needs leaders who will drag our workplaces out of the 1950s and into the 21st century .

Finally , support paid sick days nationwide . Forty percent of the people in the work force do not have paid sick days , which puts them in danger of losing their jobs when they are sick ; millions more can not take sick days to care for their children . Support for the Healthy Families Act before Congress is critical . This legislation would grant workers up to seven job-protected paid sick days each year , to use not just when they are ill , but for helping sick family members and preventive care .

There is still time , but not much , for me to tell my students that the candidates have some answers to their questions .

The opinions expressed in this commentary are solely those of Kirsten Swinth .

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Kirsten Swinth : Time to go beyond catchphrases `` war on women '' and `` having it all ''

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Women 's votes are crucial for both candidates , she says , but they need to talk about jobs

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Swinth : Women bring home all or a share of household income and family is top concern

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She says pay equity , sick leave and workplace flexibility are priorities in the real world